Something offended me today. I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, "Corbin, you? Offended? Surely you have thicker skin than that. Surely you are tolerant and understanding of your fellow man and would never think of raising a stink over someone else exercising their First Amendment right to freedom of expression. Surely not you!" Ok, so maybe you aren't thinking that, but you should be. Because it most certainly is out of character for me, what with my normally laid back, live-and-let-live attitude. So what could it be that has ruffled my black, shiny feathers so? Well, I'll tell you. I'm offended at everyone being so bloody offended! Take Halloween for instance. Fundimentalist (and I stress the word "mental") Christians are offended because it's "evil" and "Satanic". Fundimentalist (same emphasis there) Wiccans are offended at the negative connotations of the witch caricatures floating around as decorations. Even black people (I refuse to call them African-American. Unless they have dual citizenship.) have found a reason to be offended at the use of nooses in macabre Halloween displays. Everyone is so busy being offended that they have completely forgotten what it is like to just chill the hell out and have fun. But, I have a solution. Yes, folks, Uncle Corbin has the answer to all your Political Correctness woes. Dueling! You heard me right. Used to be, when someone offended your frail sensibilities, you walked up to them and challenged them to a dance of steel. Screw lawsuits and stupid protesting. If you feel that strongly about something, then you should be willing to put up or shut up. Rapiers at dawn, I say! If formal duels to the death were used to settle such disputes, I'm betting people would suddenly be a lot less thin-skinned. You don't like my Halloween decorations? Draw your blade and we'll see who's right and who's dead! Maybe I'll even add you to the display once I'm done carving you up like a pumpkin. What? You've changed your mind? Go figure...
Face it, whiny-ass thought police are running rampant in our "enlightened" culture these days. And that is truly offensive.
Disclaimer: I honestly don't have a problem with Christians (married one), Pagans (am one), or black people (friends with several). I do have a problem with willful ignorance and aggressive stupidity, regardless of the source. If that offends you, tough.
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2 comments:
Ya know, I know the "enlightened" world just hasn't got a place for thought crimes such as yours...lucky you there isn't any damn thing they can do about them anymore.
USED to be, when we had a thought criminal like you, we could string em up! Now we have to put up with them...
Oh, by the way, I absolutely agree. I society willing to fight for its beliefs is far stronger. Most people understand now that it is easier to whine and cry for your beliefs.
You, sir, have offended me. Rapiers at.. uh, is noon good for you, because I really like to sleep late, ya know. Well, anyway, you shall taste my steel, infidel!
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