The Struggle Continues

I find myself disgusted with the world more often than not. I have trouble finding calm these days, it seems. My mind rages and gnashes its teeth when I allow myself to think of all the unpleasantness that surrounds us. Focus on the positive, I tell myself. It doesn't help. Pessimism is hard to escape. Everything seems covered in a lackluster patina, grey and faded, a pale shadow of the bright colors of youth. There are some moments of clarity, though. Here and there, the sun breaks through and light returns. A woman's smile, the laughter of children, a good meal, an exciting book or movie, a well-fought victory on the fighting field. These are all good things. But the power of good things seems to be growing weaker as the seasons change and the long bitter nights slowly seep into my soul. I know we will endure, possibly even thrive, but sometimes the struggle is all-consuming and hope is hard to come by. Sometimes I feel cold and hollow, eaten up with dread and devoid of comfort. It's good that I'm not alone when such a pall falls over me. I have people willing to pull me back from the edge of the void. I'm very grateful for that.

Withdrawn

I've been having a hard time feeling any desire to connect with the rest of the world lately. My soul yearns for alien landscapes far removed from the mundane reality of my day-to-day existence. I crave the exotic, the esoteric. I am a wild spirit confined, a dreamer forced to wake up from a dream of golden possibility. I want to experience something fey and beautiful. I want to be lost in an enchanted wood. I want to soar on the wings of a dragon. I want to stand on top of a wizard's tower and command the raging tempest. But, no. Such is not my lot in life. It's hard to accept, sometimes, but what else can I do?

Geek Fail

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