R.I.P., Benazir Bhutto

I'm not usually one to comment on international politics, but this is just sad:

"Pakistan opposition leader Benazir Bhutto was assassinated Thursday in a suicide attack. Her death threw the campaign for critical Jan. 8 parliamentary elections into chaos and stoked fears of mass protests and violence across the nuclear-armed nation, an important U.S. ally in the war on terrorism."

Now, I don't know much about this woman or her politics, but by all accounts she was a reformer and a visionary. A good person with noble goals for her country and it's people. But the radical Islamists had other ideas and, as is typical for such fanatics, their solution to people that don't agree with them is to simply kill them and be done with it. When will humanity learn that such tactics never prove who is right, only who is left? So sad...

Of Holidays and Things Hidden

I'm back at work now, after being off for Christmas. For me, the holiday started on Friday with a visit from my sister and brother-in-law. We celebrated the Winter Solstice then, with two big pots of chili and some gift giving before they had to head back home. They absolutely floored us with their gift to us. His entire collection of Magic the Gathering cards. He doesn't play any more and we do, sporadically, so there you go. Never mind the fact that his stuff is all over 4 years old and worth quite a bit. Needless to say, I was speechless. First time for everything, I guess.

Saturday (the actual day of the Solstice) was spent driving to Atlanta for our Christmas visit with my wife's family. Aside from some normal pre-trip bickering, it went pretty well. Saturday night we wrapped some presents and talked with her family for a bit. Her sister is pregnant, so there there was the usual ooohing and aaahing over her extended tummy. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Then her parents gave us an early Christmas present. Tickets for the Sunday show at Medieval Times! Coolness! What is it with people giving us extraordinary gifts this year?

Sunday morning we went to church with her parents. Out of respect, I try to grit my teeth and deal with such burdens as well as I can manage. Fortunately, the trip was shorter than normal (no Sunday School) due to the Holidays. We went out to eat and then back to the parents' house for a nap (!) and more present wrapping. Evening rolled around and my wife and I were off to the show. Yes, folks, we actually had a night out without worrying about the kids! Amazing.

Medieval Times is an interesting experience for those of us who do historical re-enactment ourselves. On the one hand, it's right up our alley and on the other it's just really, really commercialized, hokey, cheesy and silly. Still, we bought some fairly nice souvenirs, the food was good and some of the props they used made me envious (especially the black and white fleur de lis banners). All in all, a nice evening getaway.

Christmas Eve rolled around and the present-wrapping finally got done. Her family decided that we were going to do the big Christmas meal that night so that her sister and brother-in-law could join us. Also because we had to drive back home on Christmas Day. One thing I'll say about my Mother-in-Law, she can certainly cook. I ate far too much and didn't really care. Of course, the quality of the food was balanced by the fact that my wife's mother treats just about every meal like a formal occasion. Even breakfast. Maybe that's just because we were guests, but it really makes one feel self-conscious. I'm used to eating on the couch or in the car half the time. Still, I'm willing to put up with a lot for a good meal, so it wasn't that big a deal to play along.

Christmas Day dawned cloudy and wet, but inside the house all was bright and cheerful. We did the annual ritual of opening our swag, of which there was much. I ended up with a couple of DVD's, a lot of Magic cards/cases/card sleeves, a sweater, a self-adjusting crescent wrench*, and a really nice lap desk for use with our laptop. Not a bad haul. After we finished with the frenzy of unwrapping all the stuff we'd taken such pains to wrap in the first place, we loaded up, said our good-byes and headed home. The trip back was uneventful. Nothing to see there. Move along.

Now that I'm (reluctantly) back at work, I've had a chance to think about a couple of things from the holiday happenings. 1) we have some really good people in our lives and 2) as my good friend Jack over at Thirteen Letters has pointed out, sometimes there is a "lack of depth to my inner life" and "everything is surface". My wife informed me before we left on our trip that her parents "wanted to get to know me better", since I was married to their daughter and all. A reasonable thing, that. But I'm afraid it would prove harder than it may seem. To truly know a person is to know the depths of their inner life, as it were. For some, those deep places are open and accessible, filled with bridges built from good memories, supportive relationships and bright, shiny pasts. For others... not so much. For those of us who have undergone far less than pleasant experiences, the surface is all that we are able to offer up for inspection. At least to all but a select few. Even then, it can be hard to let certain aspects of ourselves show. So, did her parents come to know me better? Perhaps my surface, yes. But I'm afraid the depths must remain hidden. Which is kind of a shame, because there may be some really worthwhile things lurking down there that will never see the light of day.

Hope everyone had a great holiday. At least on the surface.

*as seen on tv.

Facets

What do The Prince of Egypt cartoon, a trip to a busy shopping mall and my distinctly non-mainstream religious views have in common? No, this isn't a set up for a joke. Allow me to explain... no, there is too much. Allow me to sum up.

The other night my wife and I caught the tail end of the above mentioned cartoon. She thinks it's a great story, what with her being Christian and all. I have other opinions on the whole thing, which aren't so complimentary to the main characters. I won't go into the particulars here, but let's just say that it always leads to some interesting discussion around our house on the nature of God and certain biblical happenings. Like why is God so bloody and mean in the Old Testament and so sweetness and light in the New one. Isn't He supposed to be an immutable and unchanging force? We didn't really pursue our normal bickering over religion on this particular occasion because we were tired and it was late, but I did some pondering on the subject later. As I was meeting my wife for lunch at the mall food court today, something clicked and I realized what had been nagging at me since then.

Some religions propose a Duality of Deity (ie. male and female), but I think it's far more complex than that. Even the multi-God pantheons of ancient times are too simplistic. "God" is simply not a person or a group of people with human-like form and emotions. It is more like a great gemstone with infinite facets, each reflecting a different aspect of existence. Even that is a crude analogy for something that is, truly, far beyond our mortal ability to grasp. I am a facet of the Divine. So are you. All interconnected and none more or less important to It than another. Any human face we put on God is merely our own filter on the light of those infinite reflections. The Old Testament God was cruel and warlike because the people of the time were cruel and warlike. The God of Dianic Wiccans is fiercely feminine because they are, and so on. How many of us will follow a God we don't agree with? And yet, above and beyond our petty squabbles over which of our anthropomorphized Deities is the One True God, lies a deeper truth. Reality is incomprehensibly vast and complex. Each and every one of us is an Aspect of that Reality. A facet, reflecting the qualities of God that we embody. Knowing that doesn't make people any easier to deal with when they are in conflict with us, but it sure makes walking through a crowded mall a whole lot more interesting. Brings to mind an INXS song from the 80's. Every single one of us has the Devil inside. And Jehovah. And Apollo. And Loki. And Isis. And the Great Spirit. And... well, you get the idea.

In Absentia

Been really busy and feeling anti-social the past few days. Holiday shopping and other annoyances have me wishing I could retreat into a warm, dark cave and hole up for the Winter. This seems to be a normal cycle for me, actually, so don't sweat the silence when it comes. I'll be my normal gregarious self again before you know it. After all, what good is having a blog if I can't spew forth rambling, vitriolic monologues at regular intervals? No good at all, says I.

Astrological Shenanigans

"Someone is starting a new phase of their life today, and you will be especially tuned into it." That is the first line of my wife's horoscope today. The interesting thing is that my step-daughter turns 16 today, which is an important birthday. It makes her a quasi-adult. Not as important as 18, of course, since she's still a minor in almost every respect, but still it's at this point that she will start learning what it means to be an adult. The stars apparently have noticed this event. Don't tell my step-daughter, though. Her ego is already big enough. Kidding! Happy Birthday, Carmen!

Adrift in a Sea of Me

Have you ever had one of those days where it felt like you were lost in an ocean of your own cares and concerns? Like you were being swept along in conflicting currents of thought and never quite able to navigate to solid ground? Trying to focus on work on a day like this is impossible. I find myself thinking of just about everything but my current task. I have Yule gifts to find and purchase, rapier techniques to ponder and practice, rapier melee strategy to consider for the upcoming War, financial matters to work out, people to do and things to talk to. Or something. And that's just a sample of the chaos that is currently engulfing the vast reaches of my mental landscape. Like Captain Jack Sparrow in the final Pirates movie, I am trapped in Limbo, kept company by a multitude of myselves, each with his own agenda and none willing to wait his turn to seek my full attention. Perhaps it's a symptom of the unsettled weather outside, but whatever the cause, it's most disconcerting. Later in the day, hopefully, I'll be able to find some sheltered cove of calm thought amidst the cognitive squall.

Post-practice Depression

We had quite a lot of people show up for the Regional Rapier Practice at our place yesterday. After two weeks of planning, cleaning house, and worry over the weather it turned out pretty good. Yes, it rained a bit and I took some shots that I'd rather not have taken, but all in all I did better than I expected. We had some very good fighters in attendance (you know who you are), so losing a few bouts here and there is expected. Ysabel decided to put the Iron Ring of Meridies (aka The Precious) up for grabs. Since she is having trouble with her right wrist and can only fight left-handed, she decided that those of us who wanted the Ring could fight each other for it. Single sword. With our off hands. At the same time. Yes, a true last man standing free-for-all using what is likely to be everyone's worst style possible. Hell, yeah! Using my extraordinary skill and cunning, I walked away with the Precious. (Okay, so I ran away a lot, convinced people to fight each other instead of me and maybe engaged in a sneaky shot or two... but it worked, right?) Once all the fighting was over with, we retired to our downstairs for heaping plates of Ysabel's lasagna, which was devoured with much enthusiasm. There was much merriment before our stalwart visitors finally had to bid us good evening and be on their way. All in all, a good day.

Now for the bad. I hurt all over, as usual. My back is reminding me of just how strenuous my style of fighting is. There are two chronic trouble spots that hurt so bad this morning, I very nearly decided to forgo work in favor of a doctor visit. But they would have been dangerously short handed if I did, so off to work I went like a good little code monkey. Now I have a tension headache from Hell and am wishing the world would just piss off for while. Not bloody likely.

Was it worth it? Of course. Would I do it all again? Of course. Does that make me any less cranky at the moment? Not really. Still, we did learn some important lessons. Fabris, properly done, is deadly. Chess pie is freakin' yummy. The Muppet Show is just as funny now as it was when we were kids. And last, but certainly not least... never trust a Frenchman.