Thursday, December 27, 2007

R.I.P., Benazir Bhutto

I'm not usually one to comment on international politics, but this is just sad:

"Pakistan opposition leader Benazir Bhutto was assassinated Thursday in a suicide attack. Her death threw the campaign for critical Jan. 8 parliamentary elections into chaos and stoked fears of mass protests and violence across the nuclear-armed nation, an important U.S. ally in the war on terrorism."

Now, I don't know much about this woman or her politics, but by all accounts she was a reformer and a visionary. A good person with noble goals for her country and it's people. But the radical Islamists had other ideas and, as is typical for such fanatics, their solution to people that don't agree with them is to simply kill them and be done with it. When will humanity learn that such tactics never prove who is right, only who is left? So sad...

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Of Holidays and Things Hidden

I'm back at work now, after being off for Christmas. For me, the holiday started on Friday with a visit from my sister and brother-in-law. We celebrated the Winter Solstice then, with two big pots of chili and some gift giving before they had to head back home. They absolutely floored us with their gift to us. His entire collection of Magic the Gathering cards. He doesn't play any more and we do, sporadically, so there you go. Never mind the fact that his stuff is all over 4 years old and worth quite a bit. Needless to say, I was speechless. First time for everything, I guess.

Saturday (the actual day of the Solstice) was spent driving to Atlanta for our Christmas visit with my wife's family. Aside from some normal pre-trip bickering, it went pretty well. Saturday night we wrapped some presents and talked with her family for a bit. Her sister is pregnant, so there there was the usual ooohing and aaahing over her extended tummy. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Then her parents gave us an early Christmas present. Tickets for the Sunday show at Medieval Times! Coolness! What is it with people giving us extraordinary gifts this year?

Sunday morning we went to church with her parents. Out of respect, I try to grit my teeth and deal with such burdens as well as I can manage. Fortunately, the trip was shorter than normal (no Sunday School) due to the Holidays. We went out to eat and then back to the parents' house for a nap (!) and more present wrapping. Evening rolled around and my wife and I were off to the show. Yes, folks, we actually had a night out without worrying about the kids! Amazing.

Medieval Times is an interesting experience for those of us who do historical re-enactment ourselves. On the one hand, it's right up our alley and on the other it's just really, really commercialized, hokey, cheesy and silly. Still, we bought some fairly nice souvenirs, the food was good and some of the props they used made me envious (especially the black and white fleur de lis banners). All in all, a nice evening getaway.

Christmas Eve rolled around and the present-wrapping finally got done. Her family decided that we were going to do the big Christmas meal that night so that her sister and brother-in-law could join us. Also because we had to drive back home on Christmas Day. One thing I'll say about my Mother-in-Law, she can certainly cook. I ate far too much and didn't really care. Of course, the quality of the food was balanced by the fact that my wife's mother treats just about every meal like a formal occasion. Even breakfast. Maybe that's just because we were guests, but it really makes one feel self-conscious. I'm used to eating on the couch or in the car half the time. Still, I'm willing to put up with a lot for a good meal, so it wasn't that big a deal to play along.

Christmas Day dawned cloudy and wet, but inside the house all was bright and cheerful. We did the annual ritual of opening our swag, of which there was much. I ended up with a couple of DVD's, a lot of Magic cards/cases/card sleeves, a sweater, a self-adjusting crescent wrench*, and a really nice lap desk for use with our laptop. Not a bad haul. After we finished with the frenzy of unwrapping all the stuff we'd taken such pains to wrap in the first place, we loaded up, said our good-byes and headed home. The trip back was uneventful. Nothing to see there. Move along.

Now that I'm (reluctantly) back at work, I've had a chance to think about a couple of things from the holiday happenings. 1) we have some really good people in our lives and 2) as my good friend Jack over at Thirteen Letters has pointed out, sometimes there is a "lack of depth to my inner life" and "everything is surface". My wife informed me before we left on our trip that her parents "wanted to get to know me better", since I was married to their daughter and all. A reasonable thing, that. But I'm afraid it would prove harder than it may seem. To truly know a person is to know the depths of their inner life, as it were. For some, those deep places are open and accessible, filled with bridges built from good memories, supportive relationships and bright, shiny pasts. For others... not so much. For those of us who have undergone far less than pleasant experiences, the surface is all that we are able to offer up for inspection. At least to all but a select few. Even then, it can be hard to let certain aspects of ourselves show. So, did her parents come to know me better? Perhaps my surface, yes. But I'm afraid the depths must remain hidden. Which is kind of a shame, because there may be some really worthwhile things lurking down there that will never see the light of day.

Hope everyone had a great holiday. At least on the surface.

*as seen on tv.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Facets

What do The Prince of Egypt cartoon, a trip to a busy shopping mall and my distinctly non-mainstream religious views have in common? No, this isn't a set up for a joke. Allow me to explain... no, there is too much. Allow me to sum up.

The other night my wife and I caught the tail end of the above mentioned cartoon. She thinks it's a great story, what with her being Christian and all. I have other opinions on the whole thing, which aren't so complimentary to the main characters. I won't go into the particulars here, but let's just say that it always leads to some interesting discussion around our house on the nature of God and certain biblical happenings. Like why is God so bloody and mean in the Old Testament and so sweetness and light in the New one. Isn't He supposed to be an immutable and unchanging force? We didn't really pursue our normal bickering over religion on this particular occasion because we were tired and it was late, but I did some pondering on the subject later. As I was meeting my wife for lunch at the mall food court today, something clicked and I realized what had been nagging at me since then.

Some religions propose a Duality of Deity (ie. male and female), but I think it's far more complex than that. Even the multi-God pantheons of ancient times are too simplistic. "God" is simply not a person or a group of people with human-like form and emotions. It is more like a great gemstone with infinite facets, each reflecting a different aspect of existence. Even that is a crude analogy for something that is, truly, far beyond our mortal ability to grasp. I am a facet of the Divine. So are you. All interconnected and none more or less important to It than another. Any human face we put on God is merely our own filter on the light of those infinite reflections. The Old Testament God was cruel and warlike because the people of the time were cruel and warlike. The God of Dianic Wiccans is fiercely feminine because they are, and so on. How many of us will follow a God we don't agree with? And yet, above and beyond our petty squabbles over which of our anthropomorphized Deities is the One True God, lies a deeper truth. Reality is incomprehensibly vast and complex. Each and every one of us is an Aspect of that Reality. A facet, reflecting the qualities of God that we embody. Knowing that doesn't make people any easier to deal with when they are in conflict with us, but it sure makes walking through a crowded mall a whole lot more interesting. Brings to mind an INXS song from the 80's. Every single one of us has the Devil inside. And Jehovah. And Apollo. And Loki. And Isis. And the Great Spirit. And... well, you get the idea.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

In Absentia

Been really busy and feeling anti-social the past few days. Holiday shopping and other annoyances have me wishing I could retreat into a warm, dark cave and hole up for the Winter. This seems to be a normal cycle for me, actually, so don't sweat the silence when it comes. I'll be my normal gregarious self again before you know it. After all, what good is having a blog if I can't spew forth rambling, vitriolic monologues at regular intervals? No good at all, says I.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Astrological Shenanigans

"Someone is starting a new phase of their life today, and you will be especially tuned into it." That is the first line of my wife's horoscope today. The interesting thing is that my step-daughter turns 16 today, which is an important birthday. It makes her a quasi-adult. Not as important as 18, of course, since she's still a minor in almost every respect, but still it's at this point that she will start learning what it means to be an adult. The stars apparently have noticed this event. Don't tell my step-daughter, though. Her ego is already big enough. Kidding! Happy Birthday, Carmen!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Adrift in a Sea of Me

Have you ever had one of those days where it felt like you were lost in an ocean of your own cares and concerns? Like you were being swept along in conflicting currents of thought and never quite able to navigate to solid ground? Trying to focus on work on a day like this is impossible. I find myself thinking of just about everything but my current task. I have Yule gifts to find and purchase, rapier techniques to ponder and practice, rapier melee strategy to consider for the upcoming War, financial matters to work out, people to do and things to talk to. Or something. And that's just a sample of the chaos that is currently engulfing the vast reaches of my mental landscape. Like Captain Jack Sparrow in the final Pirates movie, I am trapped in Limbo, kept company by a multitude of myselves, each with his own agenda and none willing to wait his turn to seek my full attention. Perhaps it's a symptom of the unsettled weather outside, but whatever the cause, it's most disconcerting. Later in the day, hopefully, I'll be able to find some sheltered cove of calm thought amidst the cognitive squall.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Post-practice Depression

We had quite a lot of people show up for the Regional Rapier Practice at our place yesterday. After two weeks of planning, cleaning house, and worry over the weather it turned out pretty good. Yes, it rained a bit and I took some shots that I'd rather not have taken, but all in all I did better than I expected. We had some very good fighters in attendance (you know who you are), so losing a few bouts here and there is expected. Ysabel decided to put the Iron Ring of Meridies (aka The Precious) up for grabs. Since she is having trouble with her right wrist and can only fight left-handed, she decided that those of us who wanted the Ring could fight each other for it. Single sword. With our off hands. At the same time. Yes, a true last man standing free-for-all using what is likely to be everyone's worst style possible. Hell, yeah! Using my extraordinary skill and cunning, I walked away with the Precious. (Okay, so I ran away a lot, convinced people to fight each other instead of me and maybe engaged in a sneaky shot or two... but it worked, right?) Once all the fighting was over with, we retired to our downstairs for heaping plates of Ysabel's lasagna, which was devoured with much enthusiasm. There was much merriment before our stalwart visitors finally had to bid us good evening and be on their way. All in all, a good day.

Now for the bad. I hurt all over, as usual. My back is reminding me of just how strenuous my style of fighting is. There are two chronic trouble spots that hurt so bad this morning, I very nearly decided to forgo work in favor of a doctor visit. But they would have been dangerously short handed if I did, so off to work I went like a good little code monkey. Now I have a tension headache from Hell and am wishing the world would just piss off for while. Not bloody likely.

Was it worth it? Of course. Would I do it all again? Of course. Does that make me any less cranky at the moment? Not really. Still, we did learn some important lessons. Fabris, properly done, is deadly. Chess pie is freakin' yummy. The Muppet Show is just as funny now as it was when we were kids. And last, but certainly not least... never trust a Frenchman.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

The Future is Now!

It's pretty much a given that technology has come a long way in the past 20 years or so and our level of technological sophistication is likely to continue to grow exponentially. Unless the current mix of religious extremism combined with an abundance of nuclear weapons doesn't blast us back to the stone age at some point. But that is filling for a different pie, as it were. What I'm talking about right now is a true Cyberpunk / The Matrix / Shadowrun / Johnny Mnemonic moment. A minor happening that the truly jaded technophiles among you will answer with a yawn and the computer illiterate with a shrug of incomprehension. Despite that, it was something that made me realize just how integrated tech has become in our lives compared to when I was a teenager. Trust me, folks, I was reading about stuff like this in science fiction novels back then and thinking how awesome it would be to be able to do stuff like that. Now it's freakin' *real*!

Ok, here's the story. I wandered into the lead programmer's office this morning to ask him his opinion on a programming issue. I found him on his hands and knees with his head stuck under his desk. "Dare I ask?" I asked once he had gotten back into his chair. He proceeded to explain that his school had given him a free 512 meg flash drive to keep his homework on (flash drives are solid state data storage devices about the size of a keychain, for those unfamiliar with them) and he was having trouble getting his work computer to read the silly thing. I offered the opinion that his USB port might be screwed up, so we took my 2 gig flash drive and tested the theory. Nope, mine worked. We decided to test his drive on my computer, so I took both back to my desk and plugged his in. Lo and behold, the data files popped right up, so it must have been a matter of his drive and computer having a spat. I have two frontal USB ports on my PC, so I took my flash drive, plugged it in next to his, and copied all his files (there weren't that many) to mine. I took them both back and he copied his stuff off my drive to his computer. Presto! Problem solved.

While this doesn't seem like a big deal, think about the fact that I only sat at my computer for about a minute, that both flash drives put together are about the size of a Hot Wheels car and that they have become so cheap that his school was giving them away just to make students' lives easier. Not to mention the sheer cool factor of being able whip this black, shiny, thumb-sized gadget out of your pocket, snap the USB connector out like you were R2-D2 about to hack into the Death Star computer, and saving the day with James Bond-like
panache. Q would of been so proud! (Q the old Bond gadgeteer, not Q the near-omnipotent Star Trek entity. The latter would probably just giggle and turn me into a Klingon ghargh worm for wasting his time.)

One can only marvel at the ingenuity of a bunch of furless talking monkeys. What wonders will our clever primate brains come up with next?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

As the Crow Flies

A crow flew over my house this morning while I was leaving for work. The little devil had a morsel of food in his beak and his glossy feathers shone like polished obsidian in the slanting rays of the newly risen sun. Some people consider crows a bad omen, but not me. Quite the opposite, I hold them in high regard and to have one fly overhead with his hard-won breakfast in his mouth could be considered a sign of impending prosperity. It's all in how you look at it, I suppose. But at that moment, as I watched him soar through the rich golden sunlight, I wasn't thinking in terms of omens, good or bad. I could only think what a lucky creature he was to have found such a feast, to have wings and a beautiful azure sky as a playground. Share some of your good fortune, little cousin, I thought. And while crows aren't the most magnanimous of creatures, he seemed to acknowledge my plea with the slightest nod of his black-feathered head as he flew away. Even though I knew it was silly, I felt a sense of precognition as I turned my attention back to events on the ground. We can tell ourselves we don't buy any of that superstitious nonsense about portents and signs, but our hearts don't listen to logic. I can't help feeling that maybe, like that fortunate crow, we are due for a little luck.

Monday, December 3, 2007

The Reason for the Season

I ran into an interesting quote the other day.

"Organized religion is the Wal-martization of spirituality."

While I tend to agree with the general gist of this statement, that isn't what I wanted to focus on here. What seems even more interesting to me is the fact that the made up term "Wal-martization" is not only immediately recognizable, but also highly relevant in today's society. Let's look at the difference in how we treat our winter holiday today, compared to the hunter-gatherer cultures of northern Europe circa several thousand years ago.

Then: surviving the winter was uncertain
Now: will my team survive the playoffs?

Then: pray to the Gods you have enough food to last the winter
Now: pray to Jesus that your parents get you a Nintendo Wii

Then: hunting was poor, you have offended the Gods
Now: no Nativity scene on government property! You've offended the Right. Cashier says Merry Christmas! You've offended the Left.

The effects of Wal-martization are evident. It isn't just a focus on material things, although that is part of it. It's the fact that the Winter season is no longer a threat to our basic survival here in the industrialized West. In the absence of having to worry about important issues like not freezing to death, we are free to turn our attention to smaller matters, like who should God send to the Super Bowl.

Case in point, most of us put up a Christmas tree every year. This is a fine tradition that most likely started as a way to make offerings to the Gods by hanging shiny treasures on living evergreens. However, these days the ornaments and fake trees go on sale in September and putting up cheerful decorations can turn into a neighborhood pissing contest. Holiday feasts, so important to our ancestors, are just an excuse for us to fall off our diets or a reason to bitch and moan about having to eat things we don't like because Aunt Gertrude cooked up her infamous lima bean casserole just for us and we wouldn't want to insult the rich old bat, right?

The Wal-martization of our culture cheapens not only our spirituality, but our empathy for others, our ability to appreciate what we have, our bonds with family and friends (our clans, if you will) and our reverence for Nature and our place in it.

Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate being safe and warm and well-fed through the cold Winter months. And I wouldn't object too strongly if some kind soul decided to get me a Wii (Jesus, are you listening?). I'm just wondering if perhaps the price for those things is to forget the hardships and struggles our ancestors had to go through to get us to this point. If we do that, then even the smallest issue will seem like an insurmountable hurdle to future generations and pettiness, bickering and callousness will rule us all. Or maybe they already do.