We drove down to Alabama last Saturday to help out at an SCA event. I wasn't in a particularly good mood that day for some reason and wasn't very good company. As a result, I tended to keep to myself and not say much to anyone, which made Ysabel kind of worried about me. I told her it would be ok and not to worry, that it was just a brain chemical thing and I'd get over it. One thing that she and everyone else should worry about, however, is the fact that on the way down there we saw several dead armadillos that had been rendered roadkill by the animal-lovin' Alabama locals. And by animal-lovin', I mean they love to feel the little buggers go squish under the extra-wide tires of their tricked out pick up trucks. But, concerns about animal cruelty aside, the fact that these critters are moving out of Texas and finding their way northward is, in itself, disturbing. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you the same thing I told my wife*. If modern day armadillos find themselves in an environment where 1) the climate is significantly colder and 2) humans are thoughtfully weeding out the stupid ones, then what we'll end up with after several generations of natural selection is significantly bigger, smarter, armor-plated monstrosities that could seriously challenge our place in the food chain. Think about it. Getting bigger is an adaption to a colder climate and getting smarter could be an adaption to the pressures we put on them. Do we really want our children's children's children's children's children to wind up as herd animals for these potential mutants? Unlikely, you say? Well, think about the rise of humanity from tree-dwelling lion-fodder to the dominate species on the planet. I bet somewhere, millions of years ago, some big cat saw a bunch of upright monkeys waving sticks around and thought "no way those things are ever going to be a threat to *me*". Sure, pal, you just keep thinking that until you're nothing more than a wired-together display in some natural history museum being gawked at by a bunch of third-graders on a school field trip. So, let us learn from the lessons of the past and for goodness sake BEWARE THE ARMADILLOS!!
*For the record, Ysabel thought I was nuts, too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
~grin~ I prefer to think of the potential for Giant Carnivorous Armadillos as one that will keep humankind on its toes. (after all, the lions weren't entirely wrong--drop a modern city-dweller with a stick in lion territory and see who walks back out.)
Hmmmm.... that gives me an idea! A hyper-evolved Armadillo cyborg warrior comes back in time for nefarious purposes and takes on a bunch of good-looking, college-aged weekend campers in a remote wilderness. He'll off a few of them in nasty ways and then get his butt kicked by the gruff wilderness guide leading man and his spunky blonde college chick love interest. I'm sensing a SciFi Channel Saturday movie here! ;)
Sad Corbin, sad. I just saw 30 minutes of a "Brain sucking Mastodon" on the Sci Fi channel and I think your plot is better.
Still, I think my grandkids could use some evolutionary competition. I always figured I got jipped on evolutionary outcomes. One of my Great^50th grandparents could run like the wind. Me, not so much. I would'a stayed in the tree. Maybe my kids will get that evolution thing down.
Sorry you weren't feeling well Saturday. Monica says we are committed to Constellation on the 18th, so I don't know if I can go. I may "split the ticket" but that is up to her. Overall, I am skipping everything but practice through... November(?) whenever I have to go to Fighter's C. to do the damn meeting.
See you soon in any case.
Post a Comment