This Week

This week has been pretty slow. Ysabel has caught a sniffle, so we haven't been as active. Plus, our weekly DnD game got cancelled for the first time in a long time. I've been home in the evenings every day this week! Catching up on my rest, watching tv, messing around with stuff that I've been putting off at the house. It's been kind of a nice change of pace. I hate when my wife is sick, but the rest is doing us both a lot of good, I think. Of course, she still has grad work to do, which is a bit stressful and there are some other things I could be doing that are "productive", too. But I'm not going to worry about that right now. The pace is sure to pick up again, but in the meantime, I'll take the break.

The Struggle Continues

I find myself disgusted with the world more often than not. I have trouble finding calm these days, it seems. My mind rages and gnashes its teeth when I allow myself to think of all the unpleasantness that surrounds us. Focus on the positive, I tell myself. It doesn't help. Pessimism is hard to escape. Everything seems covered in a lackluster patina, grey and faded, a pale shadow of the bright colors of youth. There are some moments of clarity, though. Here and there, the sun breaks through and light returns. A woman's smile, the laughter of children, a good meal, an exciting book or movie, a well-fought victory on the fighting field. These are all good things. But the power of good things seems to be growing weaker as the seasons change and the long bitter nights slowly seep into my soul. I know we will endure, possibly even thrive, but sometimes the struggle is all-consuming and hope is hard to come by. Sometimes I feel cold and hollow, eaten up with dread and devoid of comfort. It's good that I'm not alone when such a pall falls over me. I have people willing to pull me back from the edge of the void. I'm very grateful for that.

Withdrawn

I've been having a hard time feeling any desire to connect with the rest of the world lately. My soul yearns for alien landscapes far removed from the mundane reality of my day-to-day existence. I crave the exotic, the esoteric. I am a wild spirit confined, a dreamer forced to wake up from a dream of golden possibility. I want to experience something fey and beautiful. I want to be lost in an enchanted wood. I want to soar on the wings of a dragon. I want to stand on top of a wizard's tower and command the raging tempest. But, no. Such is not my lot in life. It's hard to accept, sometimes, but what else can I do?

Geek Fail

A serious error has occurred. Give-a-damn application has shut down. System is attempting a reboot. Please stand by.

No Idea

It's interesting that with everything that has happened lately, I can't seem to think of anything to blog about. Maybe it's a mental block, a deep-seated reluctance to share my thoughts and feelings with others. Maybe I'm just so overwhelmed that choosing a topic is beyond my frazzled brain's ability. Well, since there is so much, let me sum up. We finally closed on refinancing our mortgage! Yay! What a hellish experience that turned out to be. But, it's done, our monthly payment is lower and we did fix some things on the house that needed fixing.

In other news, we've been going to SCA events practically every weekend for the past month. We have one more this weekend that our group is hosting (which means a lot of work, rather than play) and then we are done for a few weeks, I think. As much as I like the SCA, it will be nice to take a break and do some mundane things that we have been putting off. The event we went to last weekend, Tavern Brawl, was a blast. I ran the rapier fighting there, even though it wasn't our group's event. It went fairly smoothly and there were some hilarious antics that we will remember for quite some time.

Yesterday was Mabon, the Autumnal Equinox. It's a harvest festival in many Pagan traditions. Though I don't observe such holidays with rituals or anything, it still has an impact on me deep down where I keep my limited spiritual awareness. Autumn is here and the weather is about to turn. Cooler weather is forecast for this weekend and it's not likely to hit the mid-80's again for quite some time. This makes me sad, for I am a heat-loving creature. But, the Fall Season has it's own charms, I suppose. I'll just have to make the best of it.

There, I guess I did have some things to talk about, after all. I feel strangely better now. How odd.

International Literacy Day!

Today is International Literacy Day! Books have been my life long friends ever since I read the Hobbit at the tender age of nine. They have taught me valuable lessons about life, kept me company when I felt utterly alone and taken me on grand adventures of the imagination. The ability to read is a precious gift that I'll never cease to treasure.

Late Summer Blues

I can feel it coming. The weather is still warm, but my bones can sense the chill that will soon take over. Already, it feels a little strange to be wearing shorts outside. I know it's purely a mental thing, but in my head I'm already shivering. Don't get me wrong. There are a lot of things that I like about Fall. The trees changing colors, bedecking themselves in fiery hues of red, orange and gold. The harvest themes that spring up in peoples' yards and in the stores. The foods associated with the season. And let's not forget Halloween/Samhain, which is honestly my favorite holiday. But, despite all that, Fall is a season of death and decline, by its very nature. Life hunkers down and prepares to endure the unforgiving Winter. The nights grow darker and less friendly, like a jilted lover turning her back on the Sun. It is a season of endings, filled with reminders that all good things eventually turn to dust. As we pass from the lanquid, golden days of Summer, I feel betrayed by fickle Nature. Cast out from the warmth and light to endure once again the fell twilight of Autumn.