Anniversary Weekend

The past weekend, my wife and I went out of town to Gatlinburg, TN for our anniversary. Now, I like a good tourist trap as much as the next guy, but when it comes to pure, unadulterated pandering to the American tourist ideal, nothing beats Gatlinburg. It's actually three towns all strung in a line leading from I-40 up to the Great Smoky Mountains. During the busy season (that would be right now) the traffic going in on Friday and leaving on Sunday is so bad that it can take two hours or more to go twenty miles. Most of the way, unsuspecting drivers are subject to tacky roadside attractions and glaring lights to rival the Vegas strip. The amusement park ambiance is given a slightly disturbing spin by Hillbilly chic that has to be seen to be believed. It's all in good fun, of course, but it can leave one wondering just exactly who it was that thought that this was in any way sublime or attractive to the eye.

We managed to get to our hotel after much grumbling and cursing at the traffic. I have to be honest, I expected the worst when we got to our room. Thankfully, I was wrong. The room was amazingly clean and not in the least run down. There was a gas fireplace, a jacuzzi tub and the whole thing was far classier than a chain hotel had any right to be. We settled in and then went back out to do some shopping and hunt down a meal. The traffic had thinned a bit, so it didn't take us as long to get around this time. Still, by the time we had eaten a nice supper (at Olive Garden) and made it back to the room, it was kind of late. Even so, we couldn't resist eating the dessert that we had brought back with us. The white chocolate raspberry cheesecake was heavenly. After that, we soaked in the tub for a while and then hit the sack, expecting a busy day on Saturday.

The weather Saturday morning was daunting, to say the least. Cold, rainy and miserable. Made it hard to get out of the nice soft, warm bed. But, we had plans, so off into the wet we went. We got to the main part of Gatlinburg (our hotel was one town over, in Pigeon Forge) early enough to get a decent place to park near the convention center and bummed around until the craft show that she wanted to go to opened. I'm not much for Southern country kitsch, but even I will admit that there were some very good artisans putting their wares up for sale at this show. We found her some nice mementos to take back home with us and then took a break to grab some food. Then it was walking up and down the main drag in the rain until we couldn't stand the crowds anymore. We picked up a few more items from the copious merchants that haunt downtown Gatlinburg and then headed out for the Tuckaleechee Caverns. I had seen an brochure for the cave on the way in and, having a fondness for the deep places of the world, convinced Ysabel to check it out. It was a long and winding road to get there, but the hour+ long tour was well worth it. The cavern was amazing! A lot of walking and stairs, but amazing, nonetheless.

We wound up sore, tired, cold and wet by the time we got back to the hotel. From then on, we were total bums, doing little but eating and sleeping until it was time to go home on Sunday. We stopped by a few more stores on the way out and then it was on to Knoxville to hang out with some of our rapier peeps at their local practice in the park. The weather was still chilly, but the company was good. They had a cookout after the fighting, so we mooched lunch off of them before we finally headed home.

All in all, one of the better weekend outings we've had. We are now very broke, of course, but we had a damn good time getting that way.