Do I offend?

Something offended me today. I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, "Corbin, you? Offended? Surely you have thicker skin than that. Surely you are tolerant and understanding of your fellow man and would never think of raising a stink over someone else exercising their First Amendment right to freedom of expression. Surely not you!" Ok, so maybe you aren't thinking that, but you should be. Because it most certainly is out of character for me, what with my normally laid back, live-and-let-live attitude. So what could it be that has ruffled my black, shiny feathers so? Well, I'll tell you. I'm offended at everyone being so bloody offended! Take Halloween for instance. Fundimentalist (and I stress the word "mental") Christians are offended because it's "evil" and "Satanic". Fundimentalist (same emphasis there) Wiccans are offended at the negative connotations of the witch caricatures floating around as decorations. Even black people (I refuse to call them African-American. Unless they have dual citizenship.) have found a reason to be offended at the use of nooses in macabre Halloween displays. Everyone is so busy being offended that they have completely forgotten what it is like to just chill the hell out and have fun. But, I have a solution. Yes, folks, Uncle Corbin has the answer to all your Political Correctness woes. Dueling! You heard me right. Used to be, when someone offended your frail sensibilities, you walked up to them and challenged them to a dance of steel. Screw lawsuits and stupid protesting. If you feel that strongly about something, then you should be willing to put up or shut up. Rapiers at dawn, I say! If formal duels to the death were used to settle such disputes, I'm betting people would suddenly be a lot less thin-skinned. You don't like my Halloween decorations? Draw your blade and we'll see who's right and who's dead! Maybe I'll even add you to the display once I'm done carving you up like a pumpkin. What? You've changed your mind? Go figure...

Face it, whiny-ass thought police are running rampant in our "enlightened" culture these days. And that is truly offensive.

Disclaimer: I honestly don't have a problem with Christians (married one), Pagans (am one), or black people (friends with several). I do have a problem with willful ignorance and aggressive stupidity, regardless of the source. If that offends you, tough.

The Nyquil Effect

Yesterday: feeling icky
Last night: took two Nyquil caplets, passed out
This morning: zzzzz..... huh? Wuzzat? Up? ... zzzz... 'k, I'm up....zzzzz....
This afternoon: at the sound of my forehead hitting the keyboard the time will be 3:15pm >thud!<

Thank you, Captain Jack Sparrow

Pirates. Those swashbucklin', grog drinkin' scallywags are all the rage right now. Men and women have a plethora of cheap piratical costumes to choose from for Halloween, complete with plastic cutlasses and fake parrots. Everywhere you look, thar be pirates. Now don't get me wrong, I've been a fan of pirates for a long time. You might say I was pirate when pirate wasn't cool. My garb for the SCA (historical reenactment, remember) has a distinctly nautical slant. Hence my problem. I could, if I chose, throw on my best piratical get up and go out on Halloween night with our kids. Surely I'd put to shame all those Wal-mart wannabe swabbies with their nylon tights and poorly constructed tri-corn hats. Trust me, folks, I can do pirate with the best of 'em. But... what's the point? I mean, I do that all year 'round. Halloween is for dressing up as something you *aren't*. Right? And even though I'm an adult, I still get a child-like sense of joy in playing pretend. That's probably what started me off doing historical dress up in the first place. But it's gotten to the point where it isn't pretend anymore for me to walk around in my swashbuckler outfits. Being a rapier fighter isn't simply something I do now. It's part of who and what I am. No fun to do that on Halloween, even if I can show up the ignorant, cheeseball, mainstream "look-at-me-I'm-a-pirate" crowd. It's seriously sucked all the fun out of the secular side of the holiday. Maybe we'll just take the kids around (adults in street clothes) and then I'll go home for a quiet, private bit of meditation for Samhain. But my inner child will regret not getting to dress as a zombie, or a devil, or something outlandish that isn't part of my normal activities. Dressing up or not, though, I do reserve the right to point and laugh at the adults that wear the pitiful store-bought pirate get ups. I gotta have some fun, after all.

Internet Exploder

I don't usually talk about my job, because quite frankly it's about as exciting as a Narcoleptics Convention. On a Monday night. In Des Moines, Iowa. Today, however, I'm going to make a small exception because I want to express how deeply and completely Internet Explorer, that lovely Microsoft product, SUCKS! I've been working with a little thing called Ajax, which uses a combination of Javascript and (in our case) CFML to produce some nifty browser updating effects. And it works beautifully... in Firefox. In IE, well, not so much. Why is it that the most advanced (supposedly) computer software company in the world can't get their collective heads out of their butts long enough to ensure browser compatibility with the latest web technologies? Bleargh!! Bleargh, I say!!!

Pics of Doom!

As promised, pics from Unchained Doom

Here's me (on the right) getting ready to fight Lord Thomas. He's really tall...

And here's my Lady, Ysabel, fighting Lord Ricart Halcon (better known as Hawk).

rain, rain go away

"God is in the rain." So sayeth Evie in the V for Vendetta movie. For her, the rain was cleansing, washing away the lingering stink of torture and madness. For me... not so much. The dark, forbidding skies do little but bring a sense of hopelessness. The ceaseless patter of rain makes me numb and lethargic. There may be a god in the rain, but it's a god of despair and apathy, not the miraculous, life-affirming god of Evie Hammond. "We need the rain." How often do you hear that phrase? Sure we do. Rationally, I know that. It fills the world with green growing things that give us food and oxygen. But there's something deep down in our primal selves, something not rational at all, that is touched by rainy autumn days. A shadowy reflection of ourselves that acknowledges the inherent futility of life and imminence of death. It presses down on us with the weight of our regrets and taunts us with our fear of an uncertain future. Or maybe I'm just irritated that I have to drive an hour each way to work and the rain makes people drive like morons around here.

doom, Doom, DOOM!

Unchained Doom! That's what we experienced this past weekend. It's an event put on by an SCA group down south of us and it was a blast. Granted the three hour drive blew chunks, but holy crap was there a lot of good fightin'. The feast they served was second to none, too. Fair skies, fine friends, flashing blades and a full tummy make Corbin a happy little brigand. Now for the downside. I *hurt*! Not only did we fight all day Saturday, but we came home and held our regularly scheduled rapier practice on Sunday, too. Two solid days of sword swinging. This after being mostly inactive for a couple months for various reasons. My body doesn't deserve this kind of abuse, but I'm cruel like that.

Here's a bit of irony for you. At an event called "Unchained Doom" the weather was so sunny and warm it would make a vampire slather on 1,000,000 s.p.f. sunblock and take a noontime stroll. Now that it's over and we are back to the "real" world? Dark clouds and chill rain. The kind of rain that, while not always heavy, manages to seep into your very bones. You can feel its clammy, oppressive fingers on the back of your neck even when you are indoors. Great way to start the work week. Blah.

Got some pictures at Doom. I'll post up a couple of the better ones when I get time.

To sleep, perchance to dream...

Ah, Shakespeare! You have to love a guy that gives us such great lines to use for post titles. He's as relevant today as he was in the 1500's. Case in point, I hate waking up to the strident tones of my cell phone alarm (yes, I use it as an alarm clock) when I'm right in the middle of REM sleep. Never fails to make me cranky. But, that was hours ago and the urge to go kick a puppy has faded to a sort of low level funk. Work isn't helping, since I ran out of constructive things to do right before lunch. So, I sit and I think and I wait for quittin' time. Thank goodness for the Internet, sublime time waster that it is. I can't help but wonder what Shakespeare would have done with such a tool at his disposal. He would probably waste all his time writing on his blog...

My First Blog Entry

Ok, so I've started a blog. I admit to feeling a bit left out of the current "look-at-me" culture. I hope to strike a comfortable middle ground between paranoid desert hermit and narcissitic attention whore. We'll see how that goes.

So, if you are still reading, I will assume some level of interest in yours truly. Let me illuminate the shadows of mystery for you, at least a tiny bit. I am called by several names (some not so flattering). To most, I am Corbin, which has its roots in the French "corbeau" and the Latin "corvus". It means "crow" or "raven". This is not an accident, as I have a great deal of love for those particular birds, both in an aesthetic sense and as powerful mythological symbols. Perhaps I will expand on their significance in a future post. I am heavily involved in the SCA, a large historical reenactment group. Within the Society, I have attained the rank of Lord as well as being a member of the highest level rapier fighting Order in my Kingdom. I am married to a wonderful woman who is a Lady and also a member of the same rapier Order (She's good, folks. Really good.). We have three children who keep us busy with school and an assortment of extra-curricular interests. Needless to say, our free time is not an abundant resource. My job is a means to an end and not particularly exciting, so I'll simply say I work on the Internet and leave it at that. I have a love of fantasy and science fiction, in pretty much any medium, but especially in written form. I've played role-playing games (mostly Dungeons and Dragons) since I was 10 years old. Yes, I'm a nerd, or geek, or whatever the current in vogue term is. But I'm also a father, a husband, a worker, a martial artist, a tax payer, a voter, a home owner, etc. In short, just another sentient carbon-based life form trying to make it in an unforgiving world, just like you. And since this is rapidly edging into "attention whore" territory, I think that is enough for now.

Adieu, mes amis.